I would not be able to forgive myself if I ended April without a blog post about my other half. He has been in my life and my kids’ lives for more than 12 years. I cannot picture our lives without him.
When we started dating, my son was 6 1/2 and my daughter was 5. I was a mess, still struggling to get used to being a single mom of two special needs kids. He was newly divorced, and had four kids of his own.
Six kids. Two with special needs. Ex-spouses. Careers. Bills. Opinions. We had our odds stacked against us. And somehow, here we are. I don’t know how we did it. But somehow, we have created a beautiful Brady Bunch of a family. And our love grows with each year that passes.
My ex lives more than 100 miles away from his kids. He sees them every other weekend. They love their time with him. My son calls him every night. My daughter smiles whenever I tell her she’s going to daddy’s house.
Then there are the other 24 days of the month when they are home with me. I juggle their needs, a fast-paced and demanding career, a board membership, a house and more. There are times I have to lean on my husband for help. It took me a long time to do it without feeling guilty or mad at myself for not being able to do it without anyone’s help. But whenever I ask, he is there. He is my rock. He is my heart.
It takes a really special person to marry a mother of kids with special needs. I didn’t choose this life, but I love my children and I am blessed to be their mom. He chose this life. Well, he chose me, and everything that comes with me. He married into this!
He gets my attention every other weekend. Weekdays after work I’m caring for my daughter, helping my son study and do college homework. By the time they are in bed I am too exhausted to give much.
We try to make the best of our kid-free time. We plan get-togethers with friends. We go on vacations. We go to the movies. We go on walks.
Did I mention that my kids adore him? If he is not home, my son is asking where he is and when he will be home. When I am not home, he is caring for my daughter in ways that very few can.
I proved a long time ago to myself that I can care for my two kids alone if I had to. But thank God I don’t have to.
We were out to dinner a few months ago, I think just us and my daughter, and she was having one of her mini meltdowns. As I calmed her, I looked over her head and asked him if he ever thought about what his life would have been like if he had not chosen us. Absolutely not, he said, and I could see he was genuinely offended that I would ask such a question.
To my love,
Thank you for being there for me when I let you. Thank you for giving me space when I push you away. Thank you for understanding when I lose my temper and take it all out on you. Thank you for dealing with my insanity and my bitchiness and my OCD. Thank you for staying when there were so many reasons not to.
Thank you for taking this crazy journey with me. Thank you for loving my kids and going above and beyond for them. I appreciate it, and I know they do too.
Thank you for being my very best friend. I don’t say it enough, you are an incredible human being and I am lucky to call you my husband. My kids hit the jackpot when I married you.
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